A Dream Come False !!!

I read the article today about the "SMOKING BAN" , disheartened by it I just decided to sleep. And then what happened was simply miraculous :

THE JUMP START:

It was an asteroid strike on earth. But the damage that it caused was not physical , at least the immediate reaction were so. After a couple of days, it was realised that the asteroid had brought a certain kind of virus which was lethal. It was trapped in the voids of it and got released when the asteroid became a partial shooting star on its introduction to earth's atmosphere. The virus was dint hurt the human genes it shatterd it. People started dying in minutes and gradually the disease became an epidemic spreading across cities then countries. After commiting research for a month or so , it was found that one substance which can vanquish that virus is the presence of nicotine in your blood. I saw that in a news channel one night and then slept. The next morning I woke up , I dint get shock but I got dumb struck!!!
In 8 hours the WORLD had changed. No I am wrong the world got metamorphosed with some of the most crazy implementations.

THE MOUTH SMOKING MIDS:

When I stopped at a signal and saw the bus stand on my left. The advertisement board read " A fag a day, keeps the Doctor away!" I was like what?????
On reaching office I found executive smoking lounges bieng made inside the company premises . Till yesterday the whole campus was a Non-Smoking zone. I worked for eight hours rigorously, got tired. So I thought to watch a film . I went for the latest release - 'Phoonk Barabar Phoonk ' ;-) .The dialogues of the film were :

Scene -1
Elder Bro : " Aaj mere paas gaadi hi, bangla hai, bank balance hai, IT job hai, Onsite records hai, daulat hai ,shohrat hai , tumhaare paas kya hai ???
Younger Bro : "Mere paas humaare baap ka Hukka hai !!!"

Scene -2

Boy Friend : " Riya tumhara problem kya hai? Hum shaadi kyun nahin kar sakte ?"
GF : " Tum me woh baat nahin hai jo baakiyon mein hai !"
BF : "Aisa kya nahin hai mujh me?"
GF : "Tum sutta nahin maarte ho ...aur naa hi mujhe marne dete ho. Ab bahut ho gaya, nujhe nahin lagta ki ab main tumse kabhi dobaara milnaa chahungi , BYE!"

Scene - 3

Hero(Earlier famous as James Bond) : " Now I have got you. Your game is over! "
Villian : " But how did you manage to trap me? Whothe hell are you/"
Hero : "Hahahahaha ! The name is Boro , MARL BORO !!!! "

That was the most thrilling film I had ever seen . After the movie I came back to home. On the way I noticed green boards bieng installed at all the public places notifying " People not smoking will be found guilty and will be penalised ! " I stopped . Punched my helmet and checked whether I was dreaming .
At home I switched on the tv and realised this is not over yet . A tv add " Ab payiye ek Maggi packet ke saath ek KINGS ka pack muft muft muft !!! ' Phewwwwwwwww!!!!
Not only this the changes I noticed were enormous.
1. On opening a bank account wen we get the welcome kit, a carton of ciggarettes were given as complimentary.
2. Mothers on fone asking her son " Beta aal sutta maaraa ki nahin? "
3. Along with free condoms boxes kept at public places , ciggarete vending machines were also installed for availing fresh ciggs to the public.
4. The latest Bollywood Hit song
" Arey O rani !!!
Meri Janeman! Bahar Nikal ,
Tu boli thi, agle jhumme ko,
Sutta dungi aur aaj jhumma hai
Toh de de , de de , de de
Sutta sutta de de , sutta sutta de de sutta "

5. Ciggaretes made tax free. So a packet of kings is now priced at Rs.15 only!
6. CCD launching its new stores FFD "Fagi Fagey Day" ! The punch line was ' A lot can hppen over a fag '
And the list goes on .....
My My! What has happened to the people? I mean even to the politicians ? A hardcore Hindu party speaker enunciating " bhaiyon aur beheno ! yeh humari vedic parampara hi hai jo aaj is duniya ko bachaye hue hai . Sadiyon se humare rishi muni evam raja aur unki praja hukka pan karte aaye hain. Aur dekhiye ! aaj unhi ke riti riwazon ne is duniya ka maarg darshan kiya hai "

THE BOOLEAN CLIMAX

I was so happy . Full of enthusiasm and ecstasy. Never even wondered that this could happen. And then I heard some music....some thing unpleasant..wait ...wait...what is it?...its getting louder yaar...more louder....! Oh Shuxxxxxxxxxxxx.....Its my alarm ! And then this awesome dream was broken. It was a dream come FALSE :-(

Hmmmm....anyways...all the above was a dream but let me tell you some facts ! A comparision between what happened 15 years ago and what is happening now. (1993 & 2008)

*A Wills Navy Cut pack priced Rs. 5.75 . In fifteen years its price has risen by 600% .
*Smoking was prohibeted no where except in the Hospitals. smokking banned almost everywhere , even in films and all sorts of broadcasts.
*Revenue generated were in millions. Now in billions.

Despite all the efforts the RESULT is :

*******Probability of getting a smoker in the general crowd was 0.11 . In 2008, its 0.19.

I agree smoking is injurious. But it should be diminished slowly and gradually. Such follis measures wont do nething much. You want the public not to smoke ,fine, there are better measures you can take.

By the way my objective to write this article was not meant to be argumentative. So chill folks. And if you liked t , kindly pay tribute to this blog by lighting a fag :-)))))Public smoking has been banned , so HAPPY PRIVATE SMOKING !!!

TRAFFIC BUTTER

Well...I just got a message about traffic jam from a friend of mine and all of a sudden I thought of applying some jam to my blog. So simply my topic becomes "TRAFFIC JAM" .

When we think of this term , few of us may get real time head aches! But what I am pondering is that why do not we call it a traffic 'butter' but a 'jam' . In search of the answer I tried to adopt many frame of minds.

Say for instance :

A Physicist would say " Under STP(standard temperature & pressure), jam is more viscous than butter and now a days traffic is really dense so its better if call traffic 'jam' rather than butter."

A Philosopher may say " Our minds come to a halt just like you are drowned in a sea of jam but butter is slippery ! You can easily come out of it. Thus 'jam' is apt."

An Indian politician may say " Mere deshwaasiyon!!! Mujhe hindi bhasha se atyant prem hai. Is kaaranvarsh tiiiiiiirrrafffffiiiiic jam shabd ki upyogita sahi hai kyunki angrezi ka yeh shabd( 'jam') humaari hindi bhaasha ki ek shabd 'jaam' se paryarvaachit hota hai. Yeh humaari hindi bhasha aur sanskriti ko vishwa bhar me prasidh karega!! "

A Software Professional may say " The User Interface of the jam looks better coz the molecules which act as the back end variables are more stable and intact in case of 'jam' rather than that of the 'butter' " :-)

A Cricketer may say " A jam producing company would give me more lucrative offers for endorsements than a butter producing company(for eg : Kissan vs Amul). Definitely I will go for traffic 'jam'. "

All the above did not give any satisfactory answer but when I just got myself naturally , I got the answer - The RECKER inside me shouted ,"Oh Bhai ! Chaar saal butter khaa ke apna pichwaada itna mota kar liya hai... Oh bai Pllllljjjjjjjj!!!!! is traffic ko toh 'jam' hi rehne de yaar!!"

Anyways, the city in which i live in ,i.e, Bangalore, has the most horrifying problems of traffic. And believe me even the injection of several METRO trains won't solve this problem as they are not connecting the thickly affected areas with the metro(Whitefield , electronic city,etc) perhaps because these regions are at least equipped with wider roads in compare to other regions of the city.

Hmmm....without getting more disappointed by thinking of traffic , I would like to dedicate this article to all traffic victims of Bangalore and put a halt to my thought process!!

I think sky is white

Hi again ! No I am not a physicist who is gona explain you the light scattering effect due to which our sky looks blue instead of pitch black. I was just thinking of the mystery that is generated in my mind when i give a serious look to the sky.


I look at the sky in the morning and feel can I be clean so much...
I look at the sky in the evening and feel can I be romantic so much...
I look at the sky in the night and feel can I be composed so much...
I look at the sky through the rains and feel can I deliver so much....
I look at the sky through the snow and feel can I be sensitive like this...
I look at the sky on a hot sunny day and feel can I like some one so much...
I look at the sky and think why are you blue?
I look at the sky .......

When the birds fly ...we feel freedom coz its in the unlimited sky..
When the clouds fight ...we are scared coz its in the unlimited sky..
When the MIG cruises...we feel powerful coz its in the unlimted sky..
When the lighting strikes we wonder...coz its in the unlimited sky...
I look at the sky and think why are you blue?
I look at the sky .......

When we taste triumph, we look above and thank this blue blanket..
When we pray and search for GOD, we look above and plead to this blue blanket..
When we fail, we look above and curse this blue blanket..
When we are stuck in our mind, we look above and think about this blue blanket..
I look at the sky and think why are you blue?
I look at the sky ......

One night I was on terrace facing the holy sky and got some answers....
"Iam the witness of what you have done till now...
Iam the victim of what you have done till now...
Iam the reward of what you have done till now...
Yet iam surprised that you still think Iam blue...

I have been thinking of you right from the start....
I have been been shocked that the lion is pulling a cart....
I have been your admirer coz of your identity..
I have been shocked that you have not achieved immunity..
Nothing comes between me and you...
Yet Iam surprised that you still think Iam blue..

Iam waiting for you to come to me and show....
Iam waiting for ur mind to act so that I can bow...
You have been wandering for years to find yourself...
But you never looked that i exist within you...
Yet Iam surprised that you still think Iam blue...

Yes Iam ur image that you can only see...
When you feel yourself and let it be..
Yes Iam the consequence of all colours that you have right..
Which is why Iam not blue but blissfully white!!! "

When you learn the unspoken language

We stay in a country of complex and beautiful equations. Complex because it will take a lifetime to actually know this place absolutely and beautiful because the variables of this equation are just too many and too dynamic. Being precise, the variables iam talking of are geographical features, colour, food habits, philosophy for living, culture, history, wealth, beliefs and of course language. These changes as fast as u can not imagine. You just can not take an average of all these as the resultant will be quite misleading. Anyways , my objective here is not to get a consent from the readers about the only country that i know. So just let me present what i intended to !

I talked of the "variables" because one of them is highly fascinating - The Language ! Nope.. you are absolutely wrong if you are thinking that iam gona highlight the linguistic diversity existing over here. I wont deviate from the heading i have posted although my efforts till now were to just make you comfortable with my way of writing . Beleive me you will now understand better if you have got whatever you have come across.

Allright thanx for ur patience and just gather a bit more of it because i wana you to go through the following:

Hmmmmm.....this is what happened today. Wait...iam not going to tell any extra ordinary incident but what happens in our daily life.

1. I am riding the bike(karizma) and a guy looks and says " U really turned my head by 180 degrees" and i replied " I know that"

2. I am walking across the street and a gal passes by , she says " Hi Sexy!" and i replied "Tell me something new"

3. I am returning back and one guy says , " Nice hairstyle boy" and i replied "Thanx"

4. I was having tea at a bakery and the gal says " So u think iam attractive?" and i replied "Yes definitely"

5. An old woman came across and said " I miss my son" and I replied "He must better than me"

6. The shopkeeper said "Just a tea? Get me more money ...pls buy something else too" and I replied "Gimme a break!"



The above conversations actually did not happen! Was i goofing you all till now? NO!!! This is what they said and i replied without uttering a single syllable.. it was the most beautiful language i have known and which i am still learning...that has no script ..no vocals but just the interaction of minds...it was through EYES!!! And here comes my point , the unspoken language I was talking of! If you agree with me or if you have experienced the same you will enjoy the forthcoming words and if you are willing to press the 'X' button of this window then do come back when you start feeling what i said!

Tell you what....this is amazing and it just makes every moment special and worth learning.Well just imagine in office if you can read ur manager eyes saying "Can you do an overtime today?" or reading ur friend "iam really upset " or may be your girlfriend saying " i love you"....interesting rt? Hmmmm...we do read the body language and study others but only of those who are close but if you just can start reading others I am sure you are gona enjoy each second especially if someone is around you. I am not saying of getting bothered about others or thinking about how people percieve you ... its all about communicating which is ecstatic once you are good at it! We humans always have something more that is visible and written ...this is just one of them. Its yet another way of getting connected .....i meant connected to yourself!

Enjoy this in case you are convinced with me and you start trying it out. I dint try to be persuasive but just shared what i believe in and what i have seen :-)