Friday, September 26, 2008

A Dream Come False !!!

I read the article today about the "SMOKING BAN" , disheartened by it I just decided to sleep. And then what happened was simply miraculous :

THE JUMP START:

It was an asteroid strike on earth. But the damage that it caused was not physical , at least the immediate reaction were so. After a couple of days, it was realised that the asteroid had brought a certain kind of virus which was lethal. It was trapped in the voids of it and got released when the asteroid became a partial shooting star on its introduction to earth's atmosphere. The virus was dint hurt the human genes it shatterd it. People started dying in minutes and gradually the disease became an epidemic spreading across cities then countries. After commiting research for a month or so , it was found that one substance which can vanquish that virus is the presence of nicotine in your blood. I saw that in a news channel one night and then slept. The next morning I woke up , I dint get shock but I got dumb struck!!!
In 8 hours the WORLD had changed. No I am wrong the world got metamorphosed with some of the most crazy implementations.

THE MOUTH SMOKING MIDS:

When I stopped at a signal and saw the bus stand on my left. The advertisement board read " A fag a day, keeps the Doctor away!" I was like what?????
On reaching office I found executive smoking lounges bieng made inside the company premises . Till yesterday the whole campus was a Non-Smoking zone. I worked for eight hours rigorously, got tired. So I thought to watch a film . I went for the latest release - 'Phoonk Barabar Phoonk ' ;-) .The dialogues of the film were :

Scene -1
Elder Bro : " Aaj mere paas gaadi hi, bangla hai, bank balance hai, IT job hai, Onsite records hai, daulat hai ,shohrat hai , tumhaare paas kya hai ???
Younger Bro : "Mere paas humaare baap ka Hukka hai !!!"

Scene -2

Boy Friend : " Riya tumhara problem kya hai? Hum shaadi kyun nahin kar sakte ?"
GF : " Tum me woh baat nahin hai jo baakiyon mein hai !"
BF : "Aisa kya nahin hai mujh me?"
GF : "Tum sutta nahin maarte ho ...aur naa hi mujhe marne dete ho. Ab bahut ho gaya, nujhe nahin lagta ki ab main tumse kabhi dobaara milnaa chahungi , BYE!"

Scene - 3

Hero(Earlier famous as James Bond) : " Now I have got you. Your game is over! "
Villian : " But how did you manage to trap me? Whothe hell are you/"
Hero : "Hahahahaha ! The name is Boro , MARL BORO !!!! "

That was the most thrilling film I had ever seen . After the movie I came back to home. On the way I noticed green boards bieng installed at all the public places notifying " People not smoking will be found guilty and will be penalised ! " I stopped . Punched my helmet and checked whether I was dreaming .
At home I switched on the tv and realised this is not over yet . A tv add " Ab payiye ek Maggi packet ke saath ek KINGS ka pack muft muft muft !!! ' Phewwwwwwwww!!!!
Not only this the changes I noticed were enormous.
1. On opening a bank account wen we get the welcome kit, a carton of ciggarettes were given as complimentary.
2. Mothers on fone asking her son " Beta aal sutta maaraa ki nahin? "
3. Along with free condoms boxes kept at public places , ciggarete vending machines were also installed for availing fresh ciggs to the public.
4. The latest Bollywood Hit song
" Arey O rani !!!
Meri Janeman! Bahar Nikal ,
Tu boli thi, agle jhumme ko,
Sutta dungi aur aaj jhumma hai
Toh de de , de de , de de
Sutta sutta de de , sutta sutta de de sutta "

5. Ciggaretes made tax free. So a packet of kings is now priced at Rs.15 only!
6. CCD launching its new stores FFD "Fagi Fagey Day" ! The punch line was ' A lot can hppen over a fag '
And the list goes on .....
My My! What has happened to the people? I mean even to the politicians ? A hardcore Hindu party speaker enunciating " bhaiyon aur beheno ! yeh humari vedic parampara hi hai jo aaj is duniya ko bachaye hue hai . Sadiyon se humare rishi muni evam raja aur unki praja hukka pan karte aaye hain. Aur dekhiye ! aaj unhi ke riti riwazon ne is duniya ka maarg darshan kiya hai "

THE BOOLEAN CLIMAX

I was so happy . Full of enthusiasm and ecstasy. Never even wondered that this could happen. And then I heard some music....some thing unpleasant..wait ...wait...what is it?...its getting louder yaar...more louder....! Oh Shuxxxxxxxxxxxx.....Its my alarm ! And then this awesome dream was broken. It was a dream come FALSE :-(

Hmmmm....anyways...all the above was a dream but let me tell you some facts ! A comparision between what happened 15 years ago and what is happening now. (1993 & 2008)

*A Wills Navy Cut pack priced Rs. 5.75 . In fifteen years its price has risen by 600% .
*Smoking was prohibeted no where except in the Hospitals. smokking banned almost everywhere , even in films and all sorts of broadcasts.
*Revenue generated were in millions. Now in billions.

Despite all the efforts the RESULT is :

*******Probability of getting a smoker in the general crowd was 0.11 . In 2008, its 0.19.

I agree smoking is injurious. But it should be diminished slowly and gradually. Such follis measures wont do nething much. You want the public not to smoke ,fine, there are better measures you can take.

By the way my objective to write this article was not meant to be argumentative. So chill folks. And if you liked t , kindly pay tribute to this blog by lighting a fag :-)))))Public smoking has been banned , so HAPPY PRIVATE SMOKING !!!

1 comment:

Beanie said...

Hehehe...Nice one...What a dream to have...

I think, the ban has taken a toll on you, day-dreaming is one thing, but dreaming about this while asleep is quite unimaginable for me.

Anyways, atleast, you got a chance to stay in a world of your dreams, even for some moments, but boy, tell me...did you not enjoy it??

If there would have been dream recording devices available in today's world, this dream of yours would have fetched you millions.